Remembering

I remember
I remember all the days
Spent watching
Counting train cars
Passing the moments with
Broken motions
Dancing
Simple times
None of this complicated eroticism
Just me and the stars

I remember the days
Picking the prettiest shards
Of beach glass
While the waves crash
And the search for agates on the shoreline

I remember the tiny moments
Where hands met
And the silence broke
With laughing at the simple things
Drunk on misbegotten life
When mischief was the only way
To put emotion into moments
In this solitude

I remember the sweet things
When the cavalry came
To march the past along
And the waves sounded like footsteps
And the pages of books
Were the only friends you needed
And dreams of quicksand
Were the only devilry

Now look at me.

I remember.




(c) 2015

Ocean Moments

I sit
To watch the waves lap,
Shadowy water brushing glass-littered shore
Listen to the gulls converse
Perfect stranger sitting
Listening
Unknown music in your ears
Pen chasing words on a page

Step from rock to stone
Over water
I recognize you as someone
Shaded eyes linger
Do you see me?

Calm in the midst of noise
Rhythm beaten by the push
The pull
Of gravity
The lunar tides
Rocks to sand
Shells to powder
The gulls call a conversation
The spray kisses the air

Teenage girls, freed from classrooms
Sharing a cigarette on the sand
Smoke and wavelets
Soft breezes carry noises
The hum of life
Entrancing

Leave a heart in beach glass
To be carried away by the water
And the old ship
Rusting in its disuse
Time changes the world
An endless entropic dance



(c) 2015

Before

Sidewalk dreams and other things
My words, my words
What do they say

Your words, your words
Do you even think
Before you spit out poison
Do you remember
The way it was before

Why do you do
The things you do
My eyes match my heart
The bluest of blue
And I don't know why
Don't know why

Turn me in circles
Cry my rivers
Make my heart
So very blue
Why do you do
The things that you do
Why do you do
The things that you do
Why
I don't know why
I don't know why

Call me a bitch
Fuck with my soul
Tear me to pieces
I'll just ask for more
And I don't know why
I don't know why
The things that I do
Make me and break me
Just as they should
I don't know why
Don't know why

Do you even think
Before you spit poison
Color me cut
To pieces by your love
Oh fucking turn me in circles
Cry my rivers dry
Don't you remember
The way it was before



(c) 2015

Cloak and Dagger Love

Bottle Glass Eyes
Don't be afraid
To say hello
In the heartbreak beat of what feels right
Whiskey on the rocks,
Sunlight on your irises,
Shimmer, star...don't fear
There ain't no danger here.
But beware of the intentions
Of cloak and dagger love
Oh Bottle Glass Eyes with your
Maybe somedays, and your Could be something
Don't laugh at dragons, child.

Bottle Glass Eyes
Don't be afraid
To say hello
Cause nothin's never nothin'
In this inverted world
Just change the pace
You can't erase
All the things you haven't done
Let's not and say we did
Coulda been something said by someone
Somewhere
I really just don't care
Throw stones
Throw stones
Make these glass houses shatter
Oh Bottle Glass Eyes, let's not and say we did
Don't run away from someday
Don't run, run, run
Break the locks that bind you here
Don't be afraid of chains
Oh no.

Bottle Glass Eyes
Don't be afraid
To say hello
Oh no
It's a push-pull
It comes in waves
It takes you and makes you
Into what you don't want to be
Be wary
Be wary
Be wary
Of the intentions
Of cloak and dagger love
Maybe someday
But nothin's never nothin' in this inverted world
Oh no.






(c) 2015

Keep On Floating

Oh I keep telling myself; oh no not again
paths wrapped in time
I'll just float on (keep floating)
covered in sunlight
beckon me
Oh I
Oh I
Oh I do so love this breathlessness
Tumbling down
Hit the ground running
Away from soft horizons
I'll just float on (keep floating)
I'll just keep on (keep floating)
Silent anyway
In this deepest darkling sea
You'll help me fight my way
Whatever will I do
Without you
I'll just float on (keep floating)
I'll just tumble on (keep floating)
With you
I keep telling myself; oh no not again
Crumbling castles in the deeps
Remember that one time
When all the clouds were bloody
I'll just float on (keep floating)
I'll just keep loving (trying not to)
I'll just
I'll just keep on running
Hold my hand and fly away
There's a better distance to travel
Between now and yesterday
I keep telling myself; oh no not again
But it's the deepest old ocean
That keeps me quiet
I'll just float on (keep floating)
I'll just keep on (keep loving)
All the things you do
So take my hand; we'll fly away
And keep floating
Just us two



(c) 2015

Cities

the thing about cities is that they never sleep
the lights are on in someone's apartment
there's always a car on the road
the streetlights glimmer solemnly in the dusk
no stars light the path of the traveler, not here.
here you'll find airplanes roaring
you can't find the north star
but you can follow the blinking to the nearest airstrip
fog has a metallic taste in these parts
rain patters on dirty concrete
it smells like wet charcoal and footsteps
birds don't chirp, but seagulls scream in the early hours
when life is still moving, just slower
when the sun comes out, the alleyways become darker

the thing about cities is that they are never silent
someone in an alley is muttering
a girl's shoes tick down the sidewalk
somewhere a woman practices her opera and
lovers cry out in joy

the thing about cities is that they are full of potential
maybe one day you'll find love here
on the gum dotted sidewalks beside the rushing streets
on a park bench in springtime
or perhaps
in a dinky pho restaurant
in the middle of somewhere
you never know




(c) 2015

Strange Things

it's a strange little thing
sometimes there's not much to say
but the tiniest word
that can change the world

it's odd how a little time can bring
the strongest to their knees
in search of a word
to reshape the the way we see
the way we breathe, who we are

stumble drunk down garden paths
spider bites and the love we had
crying lightning in the dim dark pine trees
it's a strange little monster
breathing down our necks

kiss the beast in the moonlight
fields of feelings and swaying grass
tiny flowers under footsteps
it's a strange little thing




(c) 2015

Nighttime Scatter

diamonds in a velvet sky
nighttime scatter on the air
how does the world compare
midnight and blue on my tongue
thoughtless madness in the rain
come meet me in the endless forever
when the spiral eyes of cigarette smoke
watch palely from above
black dipped cotton clouds
streetlamp halos and lapping ocean
cat's tongue waves
scattered nighttime steps
stumble on, stumble on
i'm in love with the moments
of wet grass and earth after rain
with bitter black morning sweetness
and caramel laughter
soft twilit dawn, gulls fly over
nighttime scattered thoughts
only on the center line
crossing an empty street
picture perfect kisses
streetlamp halos and lapping ocean
cat's tongue waves
hilltop clifftops, sand finds a way
salt water wash away the breezes
come meet me in the endless forever
of birdsong and thrumming, humming motion
how does the world compare
with midnight and blue on my tongue
a fire that won't smother
orange peel laughter
and coffee madness
hello stranger



(c) 2015

Is It So Bad, To Want?

i want to kiss a constellation
in a borrowed moment
on your brow
don't worry
don't fret
i just want to say hello
in the tenderest way i know how
but i never do want to say goodbye
this is me
this is me
and all of me, it's true
what i want seems to not matter
to me
or perhaps my tongue trips over the words
you know the truth is hard to tell
truth of what i want
and that's my fear
no
i just want to kiss a constellation
in a borrowed moment
on your lips
tell you my passion in touches
beg for you to stay
trust me, darling, i'm afraid
because i want you to be
in this ocean of opportunity
near me
and that
is what is
is it so bad, to want?
to wake with desire
for simple tender touches
and the smiles you give
please don't run
i'd miss you





(c) 2015

Million Scarlet Roses

we are a million scarlet roses
tumbling lightly on heady winds
through poppy fields
and pale skies
soft light giving shadowy depth
to silky petals
noontide
kiss of light upon a blossom
all the edens of the earth could not compare
to the dust devil wilderness
of the throat of a rose
we are
we are
we are of the world
a million scarlet roses
heads tossing in the winds
give breath to all that is
wake up
fall for the stars and breathe the moonbeams
ache for rain and pine for sunlight
soft kisses on petals made of satin
love given by all that's good
life, tenuous and faulty
keep your head up
no matter the evening pale, the dark
the swallowing shade
the sun arises
and
we are
we are a million scarlet roses
tumbling lightly in heady breezes
an ocean alive with potential
endless in the motes of soft wind
in a dust devil wilderness
filled with such pure
perhaps.




(c) 2015

Scattered Thoughts

touch like sunlight
warm
inviting, clear skies
breathless in breezes
luck, lady luck
how you have blessed
this little dewdrop

feel like sunlight
expansive
open
free
freedom to be awake
in an inverted world
painless

you

entrance

i am

dissolving into light
this warmth
this creation of memory
wholly new

say my name
i remember
a reminder
i want

you

fascinate

i see

your touch like sunlight
pure energy
breathless
catching, holding, caring

i feel your
touch
through disjointed
fingerprints
unable to focus
expanse of consciousness
more
please

sunlight, like water
whet the wanting
sharpen
i could drink you
simple contact
rain on a desert
there's more than just
wanting
necessity

drink me
i am the ocean
you the sky
falls the rain
replenish



(c) 2015

Pre-Crash Thinking

snail trails, shiny markers
tear stained ground, my cheeks
thought forms wrestling with my good sense
knowledge of who and what and why
questioning decisions
afraid of pain
i wonder why i do what i do
i wonder why i say what i say
breathe the air i breathe
care the way i care
all it is is useless air
rushing in, rushing out
i'm caught in the middle
of a push, a pull, a cycle
i never meant to fall
i never meant to sigh
maybe i am what i'm afraid i am
a speed bump
a way station
a pit stop in a greater journey
but that's not what
not ever what
i would want to be
i wonder why i do what i do
too fast, too hard, to much too soon
kept secret and safe and hidden
but still there
still felt
still crumbling me down slowly
step after step down the road
laughter and stars and who could know
i can't pretend to be anything other than me
honesty, not hiding
but seeing that smile
seeing that way those eyes turn up
imagining the laughter shared
imagining the memories
i cannot compare, i am sure
crumbling to uncertainty
i'll continue
continue
continue
until the crash
at least i know.



(c) 2015

Sky Child

gazing at stars
with laughter
the tender sigh of contentment
of you, lover, nestled close
strong arms
safety
the worn pages of a favorite book
the soft notes of a good song
the memory of those smiling eyes
and the touch of hope
these notions
caught in the scent of incense
with a hint of cedar
you remind me of stars
the sky, a sky child
blinking fascination
your pages draw my eyes

i feel infinity
these notions of ever onward
catching, holding, silence evaporates
some things to notice
the old barges on the water
how the wet sand smells
cold cherries and ignoring stop signs
laughter, unhurried forward motion
wet roses in the late night air
driving too fast
just to see the world go by, and you sooner,
i confess.



(c) 2015

Flux

We are in infinite flux
Or perhaps dreaming
Our cells dividing
Life continuing on with nothing left
With nothing left to dream of,
Yet still we dream
Our philosophies crumbling
Continually building on themselves
Even as they succumb to change
These infinitudes of fluctuation
Carry us aloft
We are naught but creatures
Caught in a maelstrom
Tossing, turning, helpless in the tide
I feel infinite.


(c) 2015

Blue Kisses

kisses that linger on my skin
soft, pale lights,
effervescent, aglow
tenderness untold, awoken
feather kisses, softness
you hold me with simplicity
genuine, honesty, favorite place to be
sweetest thoughts
i am myself with all i am
remaining unafraid
my soul is safe
in kisses still lingering on my skin
and the pale light of dawn
i am effervescing within this
featherlight
tenderness.


(C) 2015

The Truth

the truth is sometimes hard to tell
the words don't come
the syllables stutter and shift
the wanting turns to mutters
half heard admittance and sighing
sometimes the truth hurts the most to keep in
to keep quiet and tiny in the innermost heart
these things, these sighs, these words
all that are supposed to be said
catch in throats and tumble half formed
from lips that seek to suck them back in
as if they never were
this truth, this hope, this thought
the words don't come out in the right order
emotions inform reality
the tongue stumbles like high heels in the cracks
of a sidewalk on a busy street
what belongs to one can be breathed out
in honesty unrepentant
the price, the cost, the damnation of a perhaps
the constant fear of words
the things lips try not to say
those concepts too much unformed to birth
into this vague world of chances
what must be said, this honesty, the truth kept within
for fear of punishment
these little collections of noises given meaning
by ancient history
that history which built so much caution
this truth, what may never be told
something larger than life
lingering on the tip of a tongue
resting against the cage of teeth
behind lips that seek to stop and catch the tumbling words
to take back the voicing of a perhaps,
a desire, so much more than wanting
but the truth is sometimes hard to tell
this truth, with these consequences, with this perhaps
the tumbling words appear like swords
these sighs, these words, what could be worse
than these lips that seek to halt the passage of knowledge
but instead spill the truth
like water from a glass
this perhaps takes flight
but does the flight soar
can the wings of truthful speech
not be halted by the simple sigh and closing teeth
of a tiny choice
to save the truth for late at night
when nothing stirs and the speaker speaks to the stillness
alone with honesty
for sometimes the truth is hard to tell
when the words are yet too unformed to birth
and the listener sees the world through eyes
that cannot yet understand
a perhaps too early said.


(c) 2015

Being Young

with lungs full of high priced cigarettes
and a stomach full of cheap whiskey
with Fall Out Boy blaring
through shitty speakers
with no bass
is this what it means to be young?

to drown bitterness and sorrow
with drops of loathing
clothed in alcohol

to suffocate self hatred
with nicotine and bloody tears
weeping down sides

is this what it means to be young?
to express yourself with slow suicide
pretending to be okay
until even you believe it
sometimes

i've never felt better
am i lying?

i'm the prettiest fuckup
with the best taste in tobacco
and caffeinated blood

i'll make a pretty corpse, it's true
sex, drugs, rock and roll
what's there to miss?

rat-a-tat-tat on the door
is it someone i love
or a reminder of all the things i've done?

with lungs aching from classy smoke
and a breaking heart
from the past
with music and daydreams and failure
is this what it means to succeed?

burnt to the filter
inhale slowly and it won't kill you
sip it like it matters
and maybe it will
hope that it will get better
and maybe it could

they say it never gets better than this
and this is pretty fucked up



(c) 2015

Personal Fantasy

your dark, personal fantasy
strange, erotic, lucid
smelling like beeswax and leather
you're only home in your own head
spiraling, out of control,
you're a galaxy
untamed, unbowed

your dark, personal fantasy
Freudian, eclectic
it makes you shiver
these things that create something within us
feathers on the skin
lashes, closed lips that beg
we are unencumbered in those moments
i miss this

your dark, personal fantasy
bent, twisted, deranged
you like that, don't you?
you like it when it's burning you up
you like it when
you like it
you like it when it erases all that could be wrong
to sink, simple, into a different consciousness

your dark, personal fantasy
filled with yes ma'am and no sir
brings you lust
panting, desiring, you want more
no
please
no
please
well since you asked so nicely

your dark, personal fantasy
you love it when you can't see what's coming
don't you?
yes
but it's not that simple is it?
no

your dark, personal fantasy
tied up in knots, unafraid
it frees the breath in your lungs
expressive in its tightness
gasps say so much more than words
they do?
yes.


(c) 2015

Red

how do i describe something like this?
this odd liquid shimmer
this color unmatched in its many shades?

it's the color of love, of lips brushed with pigment
of sighs, and that feeling of waking up too soon
it's the color of the first tendrils of sunlight
after a dark night
filled with clouds

it's the stammer in the voice of a boy
giving the eulogy
for his father
it's rage

it's the scent of cinnamon
the blush on the cheeks of a young child
being told no, the same blush
for different reasons
on older, wiser cheeks

it's the clinging touch of a lover
the lingering marks from their teeth
the shape of a hand,
whether from hate or lust i do not know

it's the lines on the skin of a sad young thing
who, devastated by something,
seeks destruction

it's the deep, pearl shaped drops
oozing slowly from lily soft flesh
or the swirl of water down the drain
from coloring hair

it's the odd laugh that sometimes
bursts forth at the wrong times,
the varnish on her fingernails,
the hope of a new dawn.

they call it red, crimson, sanguine...
i call it
the color of yes


(c) 2015

Laughing at Dragons

You make me
Forget about dying young
Living is much too bright
Leaving is always hard
But all the hellos are worth the pain
Every morning, I'm alone at midnight
I have a war raging in my mind
All I have to keep myself sane
I hear the birds in the fog
On the powerlines that sing a name
I can howl to the moon every time
But I know you can't hear me
I just might go the distance
I just might run
We can play house in cities made of steel
Make me crazy, let me be wild
We can laugh at the dragons flying in the clouds
And I can love to
Drive fast, bass beats thundering around us
This is the best hell
We can run wild
We'll live fast and die old
And every night I chant to myself that I am not afraid
I am not afraid
Breathe with me, we made it out
We made it to the other side
Let's fly
All the hellos are worth the pain
They're worth the hours looking out the window at the trees
Listening to the birds in the fog
On the powerlines that sing a name
We are immortal
And deep in my electric heart
Swelling with the tide and moments
I am howling at the moon



(c) 2015