Harm

so they always say that the pain will fade away
we'll float on, change and heal
but with every passing day
the dread of renewal opens the gashes on my soul
remembered pain becoming entrancing
when will i float on? when will the time heal the wound?
the prophecies of mankind belie their actions
and the pain i've felt keeps its ugly head close
breaches in my walls
breaks in the barriers that keep me alive
these scars on my body have a number
and they mark the harm done by other men
i don't mean you, you left no scar
and maybe that's why i see you in my mind
when i think of the person i love most
so let me hold your hand in mine
and forget
and i would
but i can't
they say the pain will fade away
replaced by warmth and trust
but life isn't like a storybook
the dread of renewal opens the gashes on my soul
and my hope bleeds out onto the concrete
there are breaches in my walls
breaks in the barriers that keep me alive
you don't understand how dark it is inside
they say we all float on
and time heals all wounds
but i'm still sinking
and i'm still bleeding
and i've been treading a knife edge trying to keep breathing
and it's so hard
without you i'd be lost
but with you i'm afraid i'll lose myself
as i've done with everyone else
these scars on my body
are here for a reason, to bleed away the pain
i want to hold you and love you like you deserve
but i can't
and there have been an army of men
who have made me who i am
trampling me in the dirt
breaking my heart and spirit
again and again and again
i wish you could see inside my head
and understand my choices
i'm trying to drown out the screams
and the pain
and the horror of the has-been



(c) 2014