Quarantined Desire

so you're feeling like the world is falling down
and the air is warm and brittle
and you could break for a touch
when  you wake up and your limbs are heavy
and the gravity that keeps you on the ground
is pulling you into it, onto it
down and down and unrelenting
and the wind moans past the window

do the thing that makes your body cry
and shake, and tremble
wake up again and let the sun kiss your skin
bathe in the quieit
it's never enough

try, try and find solace in the insanity
little star child, your wish might be granted
if you just lock the doors
and stay inside
and if it weren't for the temptation of the carnal kind
you would
but those sweet kisses
that set your skin on fire
those leave you blind
blind to danger

and you try and sip
from life's sweet lips
and find something to leave you satisfied

but instead, getting drunk in the woods alone
you kiss the air and let it kiss you in return
soft breezes intoxicating your otherness
and feel the starlight on your skin

to be alone while the world burns
it's a beautiful thing
but what you wouldn't trade it for a simple touch
a bruising, exciting touch that leaves you breathless
that fever that you can't sweat out
you would do anything
to feel the combination of passion and desire
thrusting its way into your psyche
all you can think about is
the warmness of a body pressed into you
onto you
around you
consuming the fire it starts

how did you bear it?
you wonder, how those months alone didn't wake this dragon
how these soft spring days and
cat's tongue nights, with the loud frogs and
the scent of jasmine and cherry blossoms did...and
you remember losing your virginity in the middle of the woods
and panicking because you did just that
but now you want nothing more than the forest floor
and there's a deep longing
it's all encompassing
it's the side effect of staring at the stars
and wanting nothing
but the touch of the lover
that you can't help but desire

there's this feeling you can't shake
that there's a burning sort of needing
and you want to sate it with the body you can't help but kiss
and all this wanting
and you need to drown yourself
in the scent of need
and the sweating, perfect giving that excites your soul
you want to be restrained
you want to feel the pinpoints of fire
the building wanting that entraps and entrances
and you know it makes you feel infinite
to be ashes on the hearth of needing
to become starlight and burning and entwined

there is a soft sort of intimacy to loneliness
and a delicate strangeness to how the world breathes
and perfect wanting when you touch me
and the fire flickers with need.


(c) 2020

Please?

it's a terrible fate to be reminded
of the mistakes i've made
now the wind is blowing harsh again
and my bed sits empty,
you mean everything to me

I watch the rain and taste the wind
and buy sun-flowers
because when they cannot find the sun they face each other

flowers, huh?
yes.

there are billions upon billions of stars
yet here we are

it kills me, this season
it smells of decay and rain and not of you
and i want to hold your hand
kiss you in the midnight
in the moonlight
under the rain
it kills me, my stars

it may end up in the dead of winter
and me knocking at your door
shivering and holding
my heart in my two hands
there are billions and billions of stars
yet we are made of the same one
and with the setting sun I find only breathless night

your touch a memory.

(c) 2019

More Than You Know

You remind me of
A nebula
All potential with no true edges
Swirling
In the heart of the universe
You're a dream i had
Of a faceless man who posessed my heart
And kissed me gently in the dreary
In the rainy
In the sun drenched morning
You make my heart sing
You're an island in a world of things
That are not the best
My oasis
Far from shore
My nebula

You are something
That could be something
If fear were forgotten
But i am eternally afraid

I wish to ride the waves of time
With you, my bird
To watch you soar
To see the wind uplift you
And the pain of the has-been release you
I wish to hold you close
To live and love as you deserve
As i deserve
As the world turns on
I wish for you to be beside me
Eternal

Roses on vines wither
Sunlight turns cold
Brooks dry down to pebbles
Waves crash them to sand on the shore
Footsteps follow footsteps
Towering trees still grow
Rivers feed the oceans
I love you more than you know

Fly away with me



(c) 2016

Morning Musing

When i wake, there is silence
Atmospheric haze and dazzling stars
Ghostly trees
Tiny, tiny icy crystals glitter
Feathers of frost tremble in a puff of wind
Curling aromatic smoke
Wreathing my face
Taking the moment to just
Inhale

Tiny lights twinkle
In the distance, perhaps an owl
Empty stillness
My footsteps
Tap of concrete, soft crunch of frosty grass
A simply lonesome moment
Kiss of smoke to lungs, and repeat
Galling weariness

When i wake the silence is thick
Molasses air and sweet, thunderous cold, I breathe 

Stillness in moments that kiss the soul 

To rise would be to greet the morning 

(c) 2016

Remembering

I remember
I remember all the days
Spent watching
Counting train cars
Passing the moments with
Broken motions
Dancing
Simple times
None of this complicated eroticism
Just me and the stars

I remember the days
Picking the prettiest shards
Of beach glass
While the waves crash
And the search for agates on the shoreline

I remember the tiny moments
Where hands met
And the silence broke
With laughing at the simple things
Drunk on misbegotten life
When mischief was the only way
To put emotion into moments
In this solitude

I remember the sweet things
When the cavalry came
To march the past along
And the waves sounded like footsteps
And the pages of books
Were the only friends you needed
And dreams of quicksand
Were the only devilry

Now look at me.

I remember.




(c) 2015

Ocean Moments

I sit
To watch the waves lap,
Shadowy water brushing glass-littered shore
Listen to the gulls converse
Perfect stranger sitting
Listening
Unknown music in your ears
Pen chasing words on a page

Step from rock to stone
Over water
I recognize you as someone
Shaded eyes linger
Do you see me?

Calm in the midst of noise
Rhythm beaten by the push
The pull
Of gravity
The lunar tides
Rocks to sand
Shells to powder
The gulls call a conversation
The spray kisses the air

Teenage girls, freed from classrooms
Sharing a cigarette on the sand
Smoke and wavelets
Soft breezes carry noises
The hum of life
Entrancing

Leave a heart in beach glass
To be carried away by the water
And the old ship
Rusting in its disuse
Time changes the world
An endless entropic dance



(c) 2015

Before

Sidewalk dreams and other things
My words, my words
What do they say

Your words, your words
Do you even think
Before you spit out poison
Do you remember
The way it was before

Why do you do
The things you do
My eyes match my heart
The bluest of blue
And I don't know why
Don't know why

Turn me in circles
Cry my rivers
Make my heart
So very blue
Why do you do
The things that you do
Why do you do
The things that you do
Why
I don't know why
I don't know why

Call me a bitch
Fuck with my soul
Tear me to pieces
I'll just ask for more
And I don't know why
I don't know why
The things that I do
Make me and break me
Just as they should
I don't know why
Don't know why

Do you even think
Before you spit poison
Color me cut
To pieces by your love
Oh fucking turn me in circles
Cry my rivers dry
Don't you remember
The way it was before



(c) 2015

Cloak and Dagger Love

Bottle Glass Eyes
Don't be afraid
To say hello
In the heartbreak beat of what feels right
Whiskey on the rocks,
Sunlight on your irises,
Shimmer, star...don't fear
There ain't no danger here.
But beware of the intentions
Of cloak and dagger love
Oh Bottle Glass Eyes with your
Maybe somedays, and your Could be something
Don't laugh at dragons, child.

Bottle Glass Eyes
Don't be afraid
To say hello
Cause nothin's never nothin'
In this inverted world
Just change the pace
You can't erase
All the things you haven't done
Let's not and say we did
Coulda been something said by someone
Somewhere
I really just don't care
Throw stones
Throw stones
Make these glass houses shatter
Oh Bottle Glass Eyes, let's not and say we did
Don't run away from someday
Don't run, run, run
Break the locks that bind you here
Don't be afraid of chains
Oh no.

Bottle Glass Eyes
Don't be afraid
To say hello
Oh no
It's a push-pull
It comes in waves
It takes you and makes you
Into what you don't want to be
Be wary
Be wary
Be wary
Of the intentions
Of cloak and dagger love
Maybe someday
But nothin's never nothin' in this inverted world
Oh no.






(c) 2015

Keep On Floating

Oh I keep telling myself; oh no not again
paths wrapped in time
I'll just float on (keep floating)
covered in sunlight
beckon me
Oh I
Oh I
Oh I do so love this breathlessness
Tumbling down
Hit the ground running
Away from soft horizons
I'll just float on (keep floating)
I'll just keep on (keep floating)
Silent anyway
In this deepest darkling sea
You'll help me fight my way
Whatever will I do
Without you
I'll just float on (keep floating)
I'll just tumble on (keep floating)
With you
I keep telling myself; oh no not again
Crumbling castles in the deeps
Remember that one time
When all the clouds were bloody
I'll just float on (keep floating)
I'll just keep loving (trying not to)
I'll just
I'll just keep on running
Hold my hand and fly away
There's a better distance to travel
Between now and yesterday
I keep telling myself; oh no not again
But it's the deepest old ocean
That keeps me quiet
I'll just float on (keep floating)
I'll just keep on (keep loving)
All the things you do
So take my hand; we'll fly away
And keep floating
Just us two



(c) 2015

Cities

the thing about cities is that they never sleep
the lights are on in someone's apartment
there's always a car on the road
the streetlights glimmer solemnly in the dusk
no stars light the path of the traveler, not here.
here you'll find airplanes roaring
you can't find the north star
but you can follow the blinking to the nearest airstrip
fog has a metallic taste in these parts
rain patters on dirty concrete
it smells like wet charcoal and footsteps
birds don't chirp, but seagulls scream in the early hours
when life is still moving, just slower
when the sun comes out, the alleyways become darker

the thing about cities is that they are never silent
someone in an alley is muttering
a girl's shoes tick down the sidewalk
somewhere a woman practices her opera and
lovers cry out in joy

the thing about cities is that they are full of potential
maybe one day you'll find love here
on the gum dotted sidewalks beside the rushing streets
on a park bench in springtime
or perhaps
in a dinky pho restaurant
in the middle of somewhere
you never know




(c) 2015

Strange Things

it's a strange little thing
sometimes there's not much to say
but the tiniest word
that can change the world

it's odd how a little time can bring
the strongest to their knees
in search of a word
to reshape the the way we see
the way we breathe, who we are

stumble drunk down garden paths
spider bites and the love we had
crying lightning in the dim dark pine trees
it's a strange little monster
breathing down our necks

kiss the beast in the moonlight
fields of feelings and swaying grass
tiny flowers under footsteps
it's a strange little thing




(c) 2015

Nighttime Scatter

diamonds in a velvet sky
nighttime scatter on the air
how does the world compare
midnight and blue on my tongue
thoughtless madness in the rain
come meet me in the endless forever
when the spiral eyes of cigarette smoke
watch palely from above
black dipped cotton clouds
streetlamp halos and lapping ocean
cat's tongue waves
scattered nighttime steps
stumble on, stumble on
i'm in love with the moments
of wet grass and earth after rain
with bitter black morning sweetness
and caramel laughter
soft twilit dawn, gulls fly over
nighttime scattered thoughts
only on the center line
crossing an empty street
picture perfect kisses
streetlamp halos and lapping ocean
cat's tongue waves
hilltop clifftops, sand finds a way
salt water wash away the breezes
come meet me in the endless forever
of birdsong and thrumming, humming motion
how does the world compare
with midnight and blue on my tongue
a fire that won't smother
orange peel laughter
and coffee madness
hello stranger



(c) 2015

Is It So Bad, To Want?

i want to kiss a constellation
in a borrowed moment
on your brow
don't worry
don't fret
i just want to say hello
in the tenderest way i know how
but i never do want to say goodbye
this is me
this is me
and all of me, it's true
what i want seems to not matter
to me
or perhaps my tongue trips over the words
you know the truth is hard to tell
truth of what i want
and that's my fear
no
i just want to kiss a constellation
in a borrowed moment
on your lips
tell you my passion in touches
beg for you to stay
trust me, darling, i'm afraid
because i want you to be
in this ocean of opportunity
near me
and that
is what is
is it so bad, to want?
to wake with desire
for simple tender touches
and the smiles you give
please don't run
i'd miss you





(c) 2015